Ready... Set... No - Week 23

Last week I asked God to lead me to places that seemed impossible and this week I reflect on the notion that while Jesus often answers this prayer, I’m sometimes too busy or too preoccupied to engage. I wrote about the inside quarrel I have with exercising my faith at work, while our Father opened up a door that subtly invited me to do this, and my timidness grew larger. Thinking about these two perplexments a few converastions occur to me and the words, “timing is everything,” along with “I’m just not ready,” ring loud in my mind.

Timing is everything because everything is in God’s time. He created time and therefore He can control it. Though a thousand years can seem like a day and a day can seem like a thousand years, the Lord always has a revealing way to make each moment seem like it was uniquely made for us. Whether we utilize these moments for His glory is another way of understanding. It’s His will alligned with ours that makes for amazing opportunities and the constant thought of His love that make us ready. I’ll be honest in saying there’s quite a few instances I think about when I contemplate missed opportunities or the idea of being ready, and this week I added one more to my list.

Last Sunday I found a set of keys lying on the floor while leaving a naighborhood store. I watched as others passed by these keys without stopping and I decided to pick them up so I could bring them to the lost and found after taking my purchased items to the car. On the way to drop off my things I pushed the lock button and heard the lost car somewhere in the distance. I walked closer to mine and pushed the button again. There I was, standing in front of the car and the woman who had dropped her keys, three cars down from where I had parked. In that moment the whisper of engagement was overruled by the shouts of departing and it wasn’t until later that I was fully aware God had led me to that woman to have a conversation. Now I’m not sure what that conversation would have looked like. I don’t think it would have been a conversation about Jesus, or a conversation about faith at all really, but I do know that conversation would have introduced me to a new friend and a new story. I do know that conversation would have honored the glory revieled and I was so quick to move on to the next adventure that I missed the one right in front of me. So now I have to ask myself, was I ever really ready?

After this happenstance I thought about that lady for days. I thought about the idea that if you keep asking God for something (like things impossible) and you keep ignoring them, He’ll stop gifting them to you. Now I’m not sure how on board with that idea I am but it’s certainly a scary thought. It’s scary because we would keep ignoring and it’s scary because He would quit gifting. It’s in these things I ask for help. Lord help us to keep our eyes and our hearts open. Don’t ever give up on us and let us stay hungry for You.

I would like to think I’m in the process of learning how to see the gifts Christ provides more clearly. I would like to think I’m growing in obedience to His calling and the discernment to know when it’s actually Him. But like all of life I am hardly sure and I’m more often than not engaged in a battle. Unlike those who know they’re not ready, I tend to think I am, and this can be a real sobering event when Jesus gently asks you if that’s true. The certainty of preparation becomes a tearful doubt and the decision to stay in trustful hope becomes a tired ambivalence. That being said, I toy with the idea that no one is ever ready… And how could we be?

The wonder and beauty our Creator provides is something so indescribable, the miracles He performs unfathomable. We’re hardly ready for the coming of His Kingdom because the intensity of His love is too much for our understanding. When we’re faced with the acts of Jesus first handedly our flesh can shrink down in reluctance because His amazement can be confusing. We’re unsure of how to let the awkwardness of refreshment run free in our lives and let go of all reservations that keep us from being the weird one. But in this I ask, just as the great poet, “where’s your will to be weird?”

It’s true I tend to weep from time to time regarding the use of my life, but I have to remind myself there’s a joy in relinquishing it. Though there may be a tendancy to grow annoyed in my speech or constant thought of God, I still ask for more of Him in my heart. If there’s one good thing in this life, I know that it is our Lord and that He being all that matters is in each one of us. I ask to have my eyes opened to that as well. I ask to draw my attetion to the light that shines in and out of our being and that I be able to help with His expansion. May we recognize the goodness of Salvation amongst us, trust in the glory unseen, and have hope for the scattered lost.

Lord my prayers to you this week have not been a constant but I thank you for the neccessity of others that kept me engaged. I thank you for the mercies I’ve been privy to and the phenomenons I’ve heard about You providing in the lives of my loved ones. Jesus I ask that you help me live what I say when I say I’m ready and assure those who think that they aren’t, they are! In Your name I pray Father, Amen!